Taisetsu na mono
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: [Fancy Lala] Hiroya thinks about Lala's disappearance and how the most important thing should sometimes be left alone...


Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Fancy Lala. "Dance in the Memories" is from Kimagure Orange Road and the poem/song of Hiroya's mine (Iku – go).  
  
"She loves you very much…"   
  
Miho-chan had shouted that in a fluster when she burst into Lyrical Productions that day while I was talking to Ms. Haneishi trying to find out where Lala had gone. I walked closer to her but she ran away just as quickly as she had come.  
  
My feet wouldn't let me run after that little girl…  
  
But there was something that told me I should have.  
  
You could have told me where she went, Miho-chan.  
  
Where did you disappear off to, Lala?  
  
Taisetsu na mono. (the most important thing.)  
  
by miyamoto yui  
  
That was seven months ago, though.  
  
And here I was standing in the rain in front of a fountain in the park thinking that I had always wanted to bring her here. I smiled to myself at the foolish thought.  
  
"She's gone," I told myself over and over in the darkness before me with only a single lamppost shining a long way off.  
  
It was the same sentence that I had tried to convince myself all this time. But it didn't sink in as much as it should have. After all, who was I to go on television and ask, "If you've seen here, please tell me where she is."  
  
I wanted to ask Miho-chan, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I didn't want to bother her with this problem.  
  
Or rather, something I wanted to deny all this time.  
  
Here I was standing in the rain for inspiration. I was looking up to the dreary sky trying to find impossible answers.  
  
I should have known something. I should have spent more time with her to know.  
  
I shouldn't have tried to think, "She'll leave me behind someday."  
  
Lala was the rising star after all. I told her that someday, she'd forget all about me. And then my heart skip a beat as I blushed when she told, embarrassed herself, that she was my fan.  
  
My fan…  
  
If I had only known, maybe I should have used that as my excuse. Except, when I looked at her, I knew that it wasn't possible.  
  
She was Lala.  
  
A mystery in herself.  
  
Too sincere and honest for me to even begin thinking that way.  
  
That scene where I was all beaten up in some drama, I remember it well. Miki was watching me, but I was imagining if _she_ were there also waiting for the scene to end.  
  
An ache in my heart made me stop daydreaming, but it helped me act more 'real' because of it.  
  
I could feel the hurt all too well.  
  
"You're in love with someone, aren't you?" she teased when we were leaving the studio that night. She poked me and laughed. "That's why you're doing so much better than before."  
  
I shook my head and laughed. "With who?"  
  
Miki then stopped laughing and sighed. She gave me a serious look as she told me, "With someone who'll never come back."  
  
At that moment, I heard the tapping of her shoes as she ran away from me while I looked on after her. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do either.  
  
Instead, I walked on with a calm demeanor, but feeling as if I had been slapped in the face.  
  
As I stood here in the rain, my hands became fists as I shouted to the sky, "I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVED YOU!"  
  
I wouldn't cry, but the rain was falling down the sides of my cheeks anyway. I walked on again as if I had said nothing.  
  
Every waking moment working and moving from place to place.  
  
Always looking back thinking I would see her there saying, "Hiroya-san!"  
  
Always dreaming in vain.  
  
Always hoping for something forgotten.  
  
Or rather, someone in the public's eyes.  
  
But not to Lyrical Productions.  
  
Nor to myself.  
  
Waking up in the middle of a dream and thinking, "I want to see you again."  
  
I couldn't though…  
  
And so I went insane for a few more months.   
  
As my acting became better, I was more popular on tv. My music was also selling well, but my employers could all see there was a change.  
  
It was called confidence to them.  
  
To myself, I called it searching.  
  
Telling her that she had changed me…  
  
Telling her that I was still looking for her.  
  
I then smiled to myself.  
  
As I came to a lonely street corner of a residential area, there was a man with a hat. He tilted his head and smiled at me.  
  
Shyly, I just bowed my head forward.  
  
"Just wait," he told me. "You will find what you are looking for."  
  
I gave him a strange look, but he still smiled sincerely at me while continuing, "You were too late to know. She was too early to begin."  
  
As I was about to open my mouth to answer him, I sneezed. In a blink of an eye, he was gone.  
  
I went home believing the words of that stranger.  
  
But for some reason, I vaguely remembered him…  
  
I shook my head and went along my way.  
  
--  
  
Years later…  
  
I was recording a song for a new anime series called "The Raven-haired Goddess". But when I started to sing, there was something different in the lyrics I had written down.  
  
I could feel the energy and the warmth of it.  
  
It was like when I first heard her sing Transparence…  
  
I closed my eyes and held the headphones while singing. When I finished, Miki was clapping as I came up to the booth. "What a great song!" she commented with a smile.  
  
I shook my head with a humble thank you. "But there's something missing…"  
  
"Oh?" At that moment, we both said our goodbyes and went to visit her cousin's house. He was a brat, but nice all the same.  
  
They were calling for Miho, Mrs. Shino's daughter, to come for a 'surprise'. I think I was the one that didn't want her to come. Some feeling of foreboding came upon me.  
  
It was confirmed when she came into the room. I blinked at her as if I had never met her before, and yet felt that the aura was very familiar.  
  
Shinohara Miho looked at Miki and smiled with a hi. When she saw me, she took a step back. "Hi-Hiroya-san…"  
  
"Hello again, Miho-chan," I greeted back, but there was something in her manner that told me that there was something familiar about her.  
  
As she bowed forward, I laughed and took her hand to greet her back.  
  
But as she looked at me with a smile, I saw Lala…  
  
The hand…  
  
Felt the same…  
  
I let go and we were all caught up with talking and taking a break from our everyday lives. I was able to be happy even in those few moments.  
  
--  
  
Days later, I was singing the new single called "Iku" to my audience. As I felt like crying, there was Miki coming out one side of the stage saying, "And we have one last surprise for today."  
  
I blinked my eyes.  
  
"Happy Birthday, Hiroya-san," another voice said.  
  
Another girl, with blue-hair, came into the light with a very beautiful, black Chinese-style dress with a plastic raincoat.   
  
"Lala…" I mumbled to myself.  
  
When she came next to me, Miki left the stage with a wave as Lala began to sing a song from an anime that aired so many years ago.  
  
I stood there on stage with a smile as she held her hands out to the audience and to me.  
  
"I just dance in the sweet memories  
  
Everytime I think of you  
  
I'm missing the days.  
  
I just dance in the sweet memories  
  
He's my one and only,  
  
You never can tell.  
  
I just dance in the sweet memories  
  
Every time I think of you  
  
I'm missing the days…"  
  
With that, she bowed and we found ourselves in the dressing room. Though there were so many people wanting to come in to congratulate me, I couldn't hear anything at all. I locked the door so that I could hear what she had to say.  
  
"Lala…you're actually here," I mumbled dumbfounded. "Thank you for coming."  
  
She smiled as she leaned her head forward. "Thank you for accepting me."  
  
We sat there silent for a moment, but I couldn't stand it.  
  
Without telling anyone, we went to the park. We both sat by the fountain as she smiled while tilting her head at me. "This fountain's really pretty."  
  
I nodded my head while looking at the fountain. "Yes, it is. I always wanted to take you here."  
  
Her eyes opened a bit as she looked up to the stars.   
  
"I came here once and stupidly shouted that I wanted to see someone again," I found myself telling her.  
  
Filled with concerned eyes, she asked, "Why?"  
  
"She was gone without a trace," I told her as I turned to look at her. "I don't know why I'm telling you this after all this time, but it seems that I should."  
  
"Me…" she asked as her eyes looked at the ground.  
  
"I can still remember Miho-chan saying that she loved me and Ms. Haneishi." I laughed as I looked up to the stars, trying to avoid her gaze.  
  
"Why didn't you just ask me?" she said as she turned towards my direction.  
  
"Huh?" I looked at her in confusion. "Ask you?"  
  
"If you wanted to really know, I would have told you," she told me with a sigh.  
  
Her smile vanished as she began to cry.  
  
"Why are you crying, Lala?" I asked her as I began to pat her shoulder. "It's not as if it's your fault…wasn't it?"  
  
As she pushed her tears away, she looked at me again. Tugging at her hair, the blue wig came out. Then, she looked at me with her long, brown hair falling before me. "I would have told you…"  
  
She shook her head as she wiped more tears away from her eyes. "I tried to ignore it, but I will never forget something that was a part of me…"  
  
At that moment, she took my face into her hands and kissed my lips.  
  
Shocked, I just looked at her as she shook her head. "You never had to tell me. I figured it all out with your songs and all the interviews. From reading all that was happening with you and Lyrical Productions…"  
  
"Miho…chan?" I barely whispered.  
  
She smiled at me and my heart ached as the time when Lala left.  
  
"I meant that I loved you. And not just as your fan now." Her smile became very melancholic as she added, "I realized it the more I listened to your songs."  
  
My heart ached even more.  
  
It was then that she ran away from me and it was beginning to sprinkle.  
  
Running away from me…  
  
I couldn't explain it all these years…  
  
But now I understood as I saw her run away from me…  
  
I let her run away again.  
  
"Why are letting your most precious treasure get away?" someone said to me.  
  
I turned to find that it was the man with the hat.  
  
It was then that I began to run and remember…  
  
…the day I told my parents I wanted to sing and act…  
  
they said it was ridiculous but I tried hard because I had met this man who told me I could…  
  
"Miho-chan!" I shouted behind her and found the courage to catch up and hug her from behind.  
  
"Please don't leave again," I whispered to her as the rain fell.   
  
Holding her tighter, I sang into her ear,  
  
"Left with no trace  
  
I wondered why you ran away from me.  
  
I went to all the places  
  
Trying to feel if you were there.  
  
Oh, why did you go?  
  
Thinking I didn't care.  
  
But did you know,  
  
That I've been looking for you?  
  
Been smiling,  
  
It's all a lie.  
  
Kept singing all the same songs   
  
Thought you'd understand…  
  
If I told you this time 'round.  
  
Didn't want to tell anybody  
  
About my agony.  
  
Didn't want to leave  
  
Thinking that you'd come back.  
  
Oh, why did you go?  
  
Thinking I didn't care.  
  
But did you know,  
  
That I've been looking for you?  
  
Been smiling,  
  
It's all a lie.  
  
Kept singing all the same songs   
  
Thought you'd understand…  
  
If I told you this time 'round.  
  
I can't move,  
  
I can't go back,  
  
Tell me where I can find you  
  
So that this will end,  
  
I'll be sure to say what I need to  
  
This time 'round, I'll be able to say it.  
  
Oh, why did you go?  
  
Thinking I didn't care.  
  
But did you know,  
  
That I've been looking for you?  
  
Been waiting,  
  
Through all these years.  
  
Seeing all the same photos   
  
Thought you'd appear again…  
  
If I wished for you again.  
  
I can't leave,  
  
I can't go forward,  
  
Tell me that it wasn't in vain  
  
So that I won't go more insane.  
  
I'll tell you what you need to hear  
  
And you won't have to say a word.  
  
You won't have to explain  
  
Why you had to leave…"  
  
"I won't ask you how, when, or why, but please…" I pleaded. "Please don't leave me again."  
  
She shook her head as she began to cry.   
  
Then, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Hiroya-san."  
  
But she broke free from my embrace and I watched her go further and further away from me. I stood there with the rain again falling before me.  
  
My most precious treasure…  
  
…why wasn't she meant for me?  
  
At a distance, the man with the hat shook his head. I could read his lips from the lamppost saying,   
  
"Sometimes what you look for isn't necessarily the thing you need most."  
  
Owari.  
  
--  
  
Author's note: I didn't know how this was going to turn out. In fact, I wanted to do something about searching for an illusion all these years and finding that it wasn't what you expected.  
  
I didn't know whether I should have ended it this way, but I saw that if he ran after her, would he have loved her for just her or for the person he thought she was? This was supposed to have a happy ending, but I just couldn't…  
  
Lala was a dream and making Hiroya fall for Miho would have made things very difficult. * shakes head * So, it ends this way. I don't like making this open-ended because that drives me nuts, but it's really difficult to give an ending to this. 


End file.
